Filed under: LOVE | Tags: boyfriend, breakup, future, LOVE, mystery, the end
I’ve been doubting our future since May. Last night a wise friend told me that I’d already made my decision – that even spelling my name out in the stars shouldn’t make a difference at this point.
So I spoke to The Pirate this morning, and far from making romantic gestures or proclaiming his everlasting love, he agreed. Neither of us wants to get to the point where we hate one another, and it looks like things were heading that way.
And we agreed that it’s over. That we’ve had some great times, but that we don’t have a future. That we want to be friends, and nothing more.
And I’ve been at peace with the decision, and the consequences, all day. I realised a long time ago that security is an illusion – nothing in our lives is set in stone. My life today is no different to yesterday; my future is still a mystery, and the path I take will still be an adventure.
The Pirate, and our year together, will always stay with me. My love for him, and his for me, will always be part of our lives.
Relationships can get to the point where whether you admit it or not, it’s over. We could have another few months, years even, but it’s already over.
Yeah, sometimes it’s not what you do that counts, it’s what you don’t do. We go nice places, we eat out for dinner, I take photos that make us look interesting.
We don’t talk. We don’t touch, much. We don’t laugh as much as we should, or smile as easily as we used to.
Every word that passes between us is infused with indifference.
The only passionate exchanges we have lately are arguments, and even then the passion is one-sided. He barely says a word, answers almost every question with ‘I don’t know’, and grits his teeth until I give up and walk away.
Walk away.
