Breaking The Ice

I was sitting here listening to Ray LaMontagne, about to get stuck into a crossword, when the boys arrived.  The Pirate and his best mate are having a vigorous rowing match on the Wii before going to soccer later.  Of course it’s normal and healthy to have different interests, but is there a point when those differences become too much?

I had a powerful insight into my relationship with The Pirate a few months ago.  It was during another argument where I was getting increasingly frustrated because he would barely speak to me.  He’d shrug, or nod, or grunt, or ask ‘What do you want me to say?’  That argument, and many others, were never resolved – simply because we found it impossible to communicate.

I realised that it was a problem we’d never solve.  And I realised that there’s a straightforward reason for it: we learn and operate in different ways.

I’m really interested in how we learn – the mechanisms and techniques that we use to intake and store information.  I’m a firm believer in the ‘modes of learning’ that the Accelerated Learning method is based on.  Bear with me while I quickly explain:

The 8 Modes:

Linguistic – good with language and words, learn well from books, words, conversations

Mathematical/Logical – good with numbers and logic, money, problem-solving

Visual/Spatial – learn well from maps, diagrams, charts; possibly artistic

Naturalistic – enjoy the outdoors, care for the environment, learn well from ‘big picture’ explanations

Bodily/Physical – good with hands, possibly athletic, learn well from touching, feeling and doing

Musical – sense of rhythm and rhyme, learn well through music and rhyme

Interpersonal – enjoy being with others, learn well in study group or by giving presentations etc.

Intrapersonal – learn from own experience and mistakes, find it easy to motivate self

We all use the various modes – but some will be more dominant than others.  As far as Accelerated Learning is concerned, having an understanding of which learning modes are your most dominant will help you to learn more effectively and get more enjoyment out of studying.  For example, someone who is Physical/Bodily will benefit from field trips and hands-on practice much more than from reading or watching presentations.

I believe that these learning modes affect other areas of our lives too.  I’m Linguistic – I’ve always loved reading, writing and talking and find it easy to learn from the written and spoken word.  It seems that in a relationship I need verbal (or written!) reassurance of love.

I’m starting to believe that a lot of the problems couples have come down to the differences in how they learn.  The Pirate is bodily/physical in his work, in his interests, and in his communication.  I’m linguistic in almost all aspects of my life, and I never heard the words I needed to from him.