Filed under: LOVE, Literature, Relationships, Single life, breakup, patriotism, philosophy, wisdom | Tags: boardgame, christmas, cooking, friends, housemates, ireland, LOVE, napoleon dynamite, new year, passion, philosophy, pirate, romance, trad, unlikely valentine
Hope everybody out there had a Happy Everything.
Christmas and New Year here were manic – I had three friends stay for New Year’s Eve, which turned into a week and a half of non-stop reminiscing, philosophising, dancing and romance. As a result of the madness, I’m really enjoying the silence in the house the last couple of days - everyone is settling back into their daily lives. I’m feeling very homely, cooking and baking every day. I’m broke, but I can always find the cash for fresh ingredients and kick-ass coffee.
In good old ring out the old, ring in the new tradition, the Pirate and I have decided to go our separate ways. For real this time! We’re really enjoying living together as friends, but there were a few awkward moments over the festive season as the Unlikely Valentine and his friends spent quite a lot of time here. It’s time to move on. The Pirate has given his notice on the property and started the search for new digs.
Napoleon Dynamite returned yesterday after a looong absence. He got me a Silverchair album for Christmas – he remembered that Ana’s Song is one of my all-time favourites. Sweet kid. I feel wretched as I gave in and drank the bottle of whiskey I’d bought him during one of our Big Nights. I’ll replace it with a more expensive bottle to make amends.
It was so wonderful to catch up with everyone over the holidays – two of my guests travelled from Germany, and one from England. It was amazing to be reunited with the most special people in my life for a few days. They’re my kind of girls – up for anything, and willing to analyse it all the next morning over breakfast pints! The biggest theme of the week was PASSION. I’ve been having my Christmas Fling with the Unlikely Valentine, the Femme has been enjoying a dalliance with a local bad boy, and the girls met a few interesting characters while they were here.
The situation with the Unlikely Valentine is as complicated as ever, but I think he’s out of my system for now. I saw a LOT of him over the holidays, and we moved our relationship up a few notches – introductions to friends, prearranged rendezvous, and boardgames. Where’s the excitement?! I got used to waking up beside him every morning, discovered where the stash of loo roll is kept, and grew familiar with the in-jokes. I’ve had high fives from his mates, and he even offered to cook me dinner one night. Enough with the romance already!
All I ever wanted from him was passion. And with the time we’ve spent together, that passion has faded. To put it very crudely, “If he doesn’t want to strip me naked and fuck me on the kitchen counter every now and then, what’s the point?” That’s an excerpt from a conversation with friends last week, and I have the feeling it’s going to stay with me a while.
The Femme, meanwhile, has ditched her bad boy due to similar issues and raised her standards. She will now only consider a relationship with a man who can answer the following questions:
a) Who is Charlotte Bronte?
b) Who wrote The Grapes of Wrath?
c) Who is your favourite poet?
With the return of Napoleon yesterday we decided a few drinks were in order. The four of us (The Pirate, Napoleon, The Femme and myself) went to one of our favourite pubs for the Monday night trad session. The place is a legend – great music, perfect pints, local poets and a cosy winter atmosphere. The Femme and Napoleon excused themselves early, and The Pirate and I were left to remember times past and discuss the new dynamics of our friendship. Time well spent.
I’d like to make a New Year’s toast - to true friends, literate men and happy homes. Happy New Year!
Filed under: LOVE, Parents, Relationships, Single life, heartache | Tags: alcohol, christmas, death, family, holidays, LOVE
Christmas is like being wrapped up by your friends and family in a big, warm cuddle. It’s about showing the people in your life that you love them by buying them novelty bottle openers and heart-shaped frying pans. It’s a time to bond with people in the pub by singing Christmas carols and relishing the annual free drink from the barman.
We’ve always had wonderful Christmases – two great parents, four excited kids, and a big family gathering in Dublin to celebrate on the day itself. The sad thing about our family gatherings is that the numbers have been dwindling since our childhood. This year is proving to be the most distressing so far – I saw my Grandfather yesterday, and he told me that he wishes he were dead. Wow.
I’ve mentioned my Grandfather before – an incredible, inspirational man who sadly has a tendency to see the worst in everything (and everyone) around him. He’s taught me so much throughout his life, and it pains me that the biggest lesson I’ll ever learn will be from his death. He’s alone. He’s alienated most of the people who care about him, he’s frightened and bullied the nursing staff he’s met over the last few months. He has refused offers of help and mocked the thoughtful efforts of his neighbours.
The lesson is so obvious that I’m not going into it. The message I’d like to spread in my last pre-Christmas post is one I’ve written before:
Love the world – it’ll love you back.
Tonight I’m going out with The Femme, a couple of her friends and… the man. Yes, the Unlikely Valentine is still on the scene. There have been phonecalls, messages, and a couple of rendevous. It’s all getting a bit pedestrian. I’ve made a conscious decision not to touch a drop of the bad stuff over the holidays – let the early mornings, extravagant meals and epic Monopoly games begin!
Happy Christmas
Filed under: LOVE, Parents, Relationships, Single life | Tags: chemistry, christmas, death, ex-boyfriend, guilty pleasure, lie-in, morris dance, multiverse, nocturnal, reaper man, shopping, sleeping in, terry pratchett, tk maxx
I’ve tried to start this post four times already, and the words just aren’t working today. I’ll just get to the point, shall I? Guilty pleasures. I touched on the subject in my last post and I feel like I need to take it a little further today – here are five things that make me go mmmmm:
5. Sleeping in
I’m not a morning person. That sounds so negative in itself – why can’t we simply say ‘I’m semi-nocturnal’ instead? A good lie-in brings me right through to lunchtime. Please don’t call me before 10am. I love to wake up early, safe in the knowledge that I can roll over and go back to sleep again, which I regularly do. I don’t know what causes the guilt – I work strange hours and am certainly as productive during my week as all the 9-5ers out there. But I automatically find myself answering “10am” to the “What time did you get up at?” question. Nobody buys it.
4. House
I’m working my way through the box-set. I’m getting a little anxious as I’m on Season 3 and the end is looming nearer than I’d like. Generally speaking, I hate TV. DVDs don’t count.
3. Terry Pratchett
I’m actually re-reading ‘Reaper Man’ right now. It was lurking on the back of my bookshelf behind all the intelligent, highbrow things I usually read. (!) What’s not to love about the idea that Death is a nice guy who ends up reaping the harvest on a small farm in a no-horse town? The opening line: “The Morris dance is common to all inhabited worlds in the multiverse” tickles me, even though I’m not sure that I know what Morris dancing is.
2. TK Maxx
Yesterday I indulged my Christmas spending craving with a juicer, a casserole and a present for my Mam:
Obviously, it’s a Crumb Pet. A teeny tiny hoover that picks up the crumbs from your kitchen table. She’ll love it.
TK Maxx is where I got my gorgeous Filofax for €12.99, a beautiful stone elephant for my office for around €4, and the afore-mentioned casserole and juicer were €12.00 and €10.00 respectively.
Why does shopping make me feel guilty?
1. My ex.
My ex is the person who inspired the ‘harbouring guilty thoughts’ theme. Even my sister sighs on occassion, looks off into the distance, and announces that he could have been a model. Still could, I guess, but I think it’s safer for me to think of him in the past tense. He idolised Kurt Cobain, and built his music, his wardrobe and his hairstlye around him, so it’s apt to call him Kurt.
Kurt and I met when we were 16/17. I was going through one of those horrible, painful, heartbreaking teenage dramas and he arrived just on time. He was a talker, a listener, and a comedian. We got together, and I broke up with him two weeks later. He was way too serious about ‘us’ – he was, and remains, a serial monogamist, and had jumped from one long-term relationship straight into ours. Long-term felt like a jail sentence to me at the time, and that was that.
We kept in touch, for years, until it reached a point in our lives where we were both single and interested once again. I had been living in Holland, but after a magical Christmas with him I quit my job, packed my stuff and headed home to the Emerald Isle. There followed three years of intense passion, immature promises, stupid mistakes, and an inevitable breakup. I left once again, this time to Australia, and we stayed in touch.
The funny thing about Kurt is that I honestly don’t find him attractive anymore. When I see him, I know that he’s not the person I lived with and loved for so long. We’ve both moved on, moved apart, and that’s healthy. The guilt in this instance is caused by the memories. I have so many beautiful memories of him, of us, that nobody else has been able to compare to since we broke up. It’s been two years, and nobody has made me laugh as much, made me cry as much, or turned me on as much as he did.
Chemistry. We had bucketloads of the stuff.
