Filed under: LOVE, Single life, breakup, philosophy | Tags: inner child, joan didion, LOVE, perspective, resentment, rooibos
While reading the final chapter in Joan Didion’s ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ I found myself letting go. Of everything that I’d been hanging onto… every last regret, every resentment, every bitter thought I’d been harbouring against the Pirate since we broke up.
The timing couldn’t have been better… I’ve been thinking a lot today about the Pirate and our relationship, as he brought someone home last night. I’m delighted that he’s moving on, but earlier today I was distressed at the thought of anyone changing the great dynamic we have at the moment. The someone he brought home last night is the same someone who stayed over on New Year’s Eve, and I felt threatened at the thought of another woman coming into MY house and interfering with our time together.
Now? Well, I can’t say the idea appeals to me, but I can’t expect the Pirate to put his life on hold just because he’s still living here. His staying was as much my decision as it was his, and I’m willing to deal with the consequences. I’ve also accepted that MY house is, in fact, OUR house. Sneaky inner child.
Yes, I know that I seem amazingly calm and philosophical about all this. It’s because of the massive dose of perspective Joan Didion just treated me too. The Pirate, his actions, and his romances, are never going to really matter. Because we’ve already decided that ‘we’ will never be. Because there are better men, and bigger dramas, in my future. Because I don’t love him anymore.
Maybe a little change would be a good thing. I’ve been neglecting my personal life of late; indulging in anti-social behaviour and spending way too much time in bed. I haven’t even been drinking as much tea as usual. Tomorrow, I’m back on track. Fine-tuning that work/life balance and brewing a pot of Rooibos.
Filed under: Internet Love, wisdom | Tags: blogs, daily makeover, distraction, flights, frittata, google, grammar girl, instructables, internet, make me super, walk in the park, wordie
I’m guessing a lot of you spend too much time online. It’s something I’m certainly guilty of, simply because I get so easily distracted by all the goodies the net has to offer. My answer to most of life’s dilemmas is ‘Google it?’
This week, t’internet has enlightened me in the following ways:
First up, the answer to a question that I’ve investigated so often by now I really should know the answer: the difference between ‘affect’ and ‘effect’. I have to hit the reference books every time I go to use the word, but lo, I’ve found the solution. Grammar Girl sums it up beautifully with this:
And the mnemonic: ‘a very easy noun’ which helps us to remember that affect = verb, effect = noun
Staying with the English theme, I learnt this new word from www.wordie.com:
autolatry
noun
the worship of yourself [syn: idolatry]
I turned both my niece and nephew into superheroes with www.makemesuper.com. Not as funny as doing it to your significant other and them watching it at work with colleagues looking over their shoulders, but amusing nonetheless!
I browsed through random stuff on www.instructables.com… I didn’t use any of it, mind, but I now know of at least 30 different uses for plastic bags.
I tried various hairstyles on The Pirate on www.dailymakeover.com and was pleased as punch until I realised I’d have to upgrade to premium membership if I wanted to give him facial hair. Boo.
I found a recipe for asparagus and leek frittata which resulted in this delectable creation:
Today, I’m keeping an eye out for cheap flights to anywhere with www.skyscanner.net. And, of course, reading your blogs. Two that made me smile today:
Planetross on Optimism
Restaurant Refugee on Mittens
The Yin to my internet-loving Yang is apparent today – I had planned a nice stroll in the park, but it’s 3.30pm already, and the park closes at 4pm. Maybe tomorrow.
Filed under: Literature, music | Tags: books, clutter, coffee, emily dickinson, feelgood, jason mraz, Literature, music, potatoes, telesales, weather, weekend
Today is Monday, and the rest of the week is looming threateningly around the corner. So far it’s been a week of temperamental laptop issues, cold weather and telesales harrassment. Although I try to be positive in the face of Monday misery… I just want to go back to bed and set my alarm for Spring.
My bedroom is a sanctuary this evening, away from the post-weekend clutter that has taken over the sitting room. I’ve seen cigarette ash hiding under the couch, and the kitchen is buried under a pile of dirty teatowels and empty bottles.
This man is the only reason I’m smiling right now!
This is Jason Mraz singing ‘I’m Yours’. I’ve been singing this song like an idiot for the last few days. This is live in Hyde Park last year – I love the way he plays with the crowd.
Other things that are improving my mood today:
1. GOOD coffee.
2. Potato farls (maybe an Irish thing?)
3. And this Emily Dickinson poem:
The words the happy say Are paltry melody But those the silent feel Are beautiful –
I’m also excited about starting a new book this evening – I have a stack of around 22 books waiting to be read, and I’m definitely going to choose something cheerful.
Is there a song that makes you smile instantly?
Filed under: Single life | Tags: alcohol, detox, dj, mashup, music, norwegian recycling, sage
Ever been in that mood where you NEED music but every CD you put on seems… unsatisfying? Where you wish your flatmate or spouse was a kickass DJ who could fulfil your musical whims and entertain you all night long? That’s how I feel right now, but I’ve found the ideal solution.
He is Norwegian Recycling. Crazy mashups of funky tunes you can’t help but sing along to. My personal favourite so far is ‘Ben is Chasing Beautiful Cars’ which samples… you might have guessed some of it…
Sean Kingston – Beautiful Girls
Ben E. King – Stand By Me
Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars
Alice Deejay – Back In My Life
Beverly Hills 90210 – Opening Theme
Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans &112 – I’ll Be Missing You
Phew. He’s Norwegian, he’s beautiful, and he’s talented. And he’s only 24… I feel so unaccomplished!
I’ve been accidentally detoxing for a couple of weeks now – completely unplanned abstinence from alcoholic substances. I think it might come to an end tonight; I feel the familiar thirst returning. Not so much a thirst for beer as a desire for social human company.
I relented today and got in touch with the Unlikely Valentine again. I might see him this weekend. More excitingly… I think I’ll get to see The Sage too. We haven’t been corresponding much at all lately, but it hasn’t changed my feelings for him one bit.
I’ve been writing business-related articles for local publications all day, and I seemed to have reached my daily quota of words… adieu.
Filed under: LOVE, Literature, Relationships, Single life, philosophy | Tags: alexander mccall smith, decorating, dr.seuss, femme, kids, law of three, Literature, milan kundera, mo willems, muffin, nephew, pirate, roald dahl, unbearable lightness of being, unlikely valentine
It was a busy weekend. A few hours of muffin baking and story telling with my niece and nephew this morning. Our current favourite read is this one:
‘Today I Will Fly’ by Mo Willems- a huge hit because of the beautifully simple storyline and hilarious illustrations. My nephew almost wept with laughter the first time we read it a few weeks ago – and insisted on hearing it again as soon as I got to the end! I LOVE it the way I love Dr.Seuss and Roald Dahl books – seriously funny stuff.
I have to include my favourite illustration:
I’m reading an Alexander McCall Smith book at the mo and loving that too – ‘The Right Attitude to Rain’.
Kids and fiction aside, it’s been a hectic few days. I’ve moved into the biggest bedroom in the house – the Pirate decided to stay after all but has moved upstairs to a more private room with an en suite. The Femme took my wee room and I took the Pirate’s old one. Phew. I’ve created some artwork for my walls using vinyl, and also turned my books into a feature by creating invisible shelves. I’ll get some pics up eventually – it’s still a work in progress.
I’m 25 years old, and this is the first time I’ve really made a HOME somewhere. The thought of settling down permanently scares the living daylights out of me, but this feeling of being established in a little community is wonderful and somehow exhilarating.
Speaking of exhilaration… I haven’t spoken to the Unlikely Valentine for quite some time. The character of Tomas in The Unbearable Lightness of Being abides by the Law of Three - when in a casual relationship he’ll see the same person only a) once every three weeks or b) three times in a row and never again. I can’t remember what the principle behind the law was, but I think I might try it for a while – it might prevent the passion of my next dalliance from being so quickly extinguished.
You might be able to tell from reading this that my thoughts are a little disjointed right now - I’m distracted by plans for tomorrow, ideas for decor and, as always, Big Questions. Does he think about me? Why do I spend so much time thinking about him when I can’t even imagine us being together?
(Did I mention that he laughs like John Travolta as Danny in Grease?)
Filed under: LOVE, Literature, Relationships, Single life, breakup, patriotism, philosophy, wisdom | Tags: boardgame, christmas, cooking, friends, housemates, ireland, LOVE, napoleon dynamite, new year, passion, philosophy, pirate, romance, trad, unlikely valentine
Hope everybody out there had a Happy Everything.
Christmas and New Year here were manic – I had three friends stay for New Year’s Eve, which turned into a week and a half of non-stop reminiscing, philosophising, dancing and romance. As a result of the madness, I’m really enjoying the silence in the house the last couple of days - everyone is settling back into their daily lives. I’m feeling very homely, cooking and baking every day. I’m broke, but I can always find the cash for fresh ingredients and kick-ass coffee.
In good old ring out the old, ring in the new tradition, the Pirate and I have decided to go our separate ways. For real this time! We’re really enjoying living together as friends, but there were a few awkward moments over the festive season as the Unlikely Valentine and his friends spent quite a lot of time here. It’s time to move on. The Pirate has given his notice on the property and started the search for new digs.
Napoleon Dynamite returned yesterday after a looong absence. He got me a Silverchair album for Christmas – he remembered that Ana’s Song is one of my all-time favourites. Sweet kid. I feel wretched as I gave in and drank the bottle of whiskey I’d bought him during one of our Big Nights. I’ll replace it with a more expensive bottle to make amends.
It was so wonderful to catch up with everyone over the holidays – two of my guests travelled from Germany, and one from England. It was amazing to be reunited with the most special people in my life for a few days. They’re my kind of girls – up for anything, and willing to analyse it all the next morning over breakfast pints! The biggest theme of the week was PASSION. I’ve been having my Christmas Fling with the Unlikely Valentine, the Femme has been enjoying a dalliance with a local bad boy, and the girls met a few interesting characters while they were here.
The situation with the Unlikely Valentine is as complicated as ever, but I think he’s out of my system for now. I saw a LOT of him over the holidays, and we moved our relationship up a few notches – introductions to friends, prearranged rendezvous, and boardgames. Where’s the excitement?! I got used to waking up beside him every morning, discovered where the stash of loo roll is kept, and grew familiar with the in-jokes. I’ve had high fives from his mates, and he even offered to cook me dinner one night. Enough with the romance already!
All I ever wanted from him was passion. And with the time we’ve spent together, that passion has faded. To put it very crudely, “If he doesn’t want to strip me naked and fuck me on the kitchen counter every now and then, what’s the point?” That’s an excerpt from a conversation with friends last week, and I have the feeling it’s going to stay with me a while.
The Femme, meanwhile, has ditched her bad boy due to similar issues and raised her standards. She will now only consider a relationship with a man who can answer the following questions:
a) Who is Charlotte Bronte?
b) Who wrote The Grapes of Wrath?
c) Who is your favourite poet?
With the return of Napoleon yesterday we decided a few drinks were in order. The four of us (The Pirate, Napoleon, The Femme and myself) went to one of our favourite pubs for the Monday night trad session. The place is a legend – great music, perfect pints, local poets and a cosy winter atmosphere. The Femme and Napoleon excused themselves early, and The Pirate and I were left to remember times past and discuss the new dynamics of our friendship. Time well spent.
I’d like to make a New Year’s toast - to true friends, literate men and happy homes. Happy New Year!
