Filed under: LOVE, Relationships, Single life | Tags: adventure, friends, sage, travel, weekend
I do have some news. A development, of sorts. The Sage and I are going away together this weekend. It’s not as romantic as it sounds – he has business, I have friends in the same area, so we’re going together. It seemed like a reasonable solution – we have busy lives and haven’t seen one another for almost a month.
I’m excited. It’ll be wonderful to just BE for a couple of days, reconnect. It’s been so long that the thrill of our night together has almost worn off. I have to make an effort to recapture those feelings now; and it feels like a distant memory.
I’m finding it hard to formulate any solid thoughts about the weekend; I’ve already realised that there won’t be any room for expectations or promises. It will simply be an adventure, and if it goes well, it’ll be an adventure worth repeating.
Filed under: wisdom | Tags: confucius, earth, emotion, heaven, junkmail, quotation, self-awareness, volcano
Every time I turn this on I sift through all my junkmail. I’m beginning to realise that there’s rarely anything ‘important’ – my ex-boyfriend stays in touch and we exchange plans for world domination, I get occasional correspondance from people I know who like to share photos of themselves doing exciting things in exotic places, but mostly it’s emails from people with names like Melba McKee who want to sell me viagra or penis-enlarging pills.
My all-time favourite was a promise of an ‘emotional volcano’. I think I’ve met a few emotional volcanoes – people who display tiny ripples on the surface but you can tell there’s a potential natural disaster lurking not too far beneath. What’s really fascinating is that these people are often unaware of the inner turmoil. I’m sure you’ve met or know people like this too – you get a glimpse of the chaos when they yell at a red light or curse at an incompetent waiter, completely oblivious to the fact that these outbursts are caused by their own problems, and not the world around them.
It brings me right back to self-awareness, and this:
“Whoever knows essentially his own nature, can know also that of other men and can penetrate into the nature of beings. He can collaborate in the transformation and the progress of heaven and earth.” Confucius
And yes, I’m aware that the original email was referring to something completely different. To be quite honest, I’m not sure that I want emotional volcanoes of any kind in my life right now. And my own nature? I don’t know it yet, but I’m learning.
Filed under: Discovery | Tags: inner peace, meditation, philosophy, relaxation, self-awareness, senses
Be still.
Notice the feel of your feet on the floor. The weight of your body on the chair. Your clothes against your skin. Become aware of the sounds around you… let your hearing expand past the furthest silence. Notice the taste in your mouth. If your eyes are open, notice the colours in front of you, without comment. Notice the smells in the air around you.
Notice your breathing. Notice the stillness within. And enjoy it for a few moments.
I love this exercise. It reminds me that I am here, I am me, and I am alive. People tend to forget these things.
Filed under: Hobby, LOVE, Parents, Pets, Relationships, Single life | Tags: family, fish, Fred, new pet, nightclass, pirate, sage, Single life, terrapin
I was recently told that my Spirit Guides want me to cut all ties with The Pirate. I’m not quite sure who these guides are, or if they are, but I went against their advice today. The Pirate and I have bought a pet – a terrapin who has been named Fred.
It wasn’t planned; a trip to TK Maxx led to the purchase of a vase and a desire to fill it with fish. The ensuing visit to the pet shop was the beginning of a love affair with a reptile, who has been happily installed in the corner of our sitting room. Does this make us a family?
The fish are on the coffee table, which means I can see them out of the corner of my eye when I’m sitting on the couch. I like to keep busy, but I DO spend a lot of time on the couch – my bedroom is strictly for sleeping, and the couch is where I watch TV, work, Google things, and keep an eye on any culinary projects that I have running in the kitchen. The fish have been here for a couple of days now, and there’s a big change in the energy in the room. It’s much more alive, and I’m slightly on edge. I’m sure it will take all four of us (the terrapin, the fish x 2, and me) a few days to adjust.
The Pirate and I have already agreed that whichever one of us eventually keeps the terrapin will financially reimburse the other. I’m sure he’ll lose interest soon enough – he was a bit shocked to discover they can live for 25 years.
The fish are mine.
The Sage is once again asking when we’ll both be in the same city at the same time… part of me wants to jump onto a bus and head straight there in order to relive our wonderful night together. But most of me wants to stay here, Googling Terrapin info and choosing nightclasses to attend this year. Uncomplicated, single life is a treat.
Filed under: LOVE, Relationships, Single life | Tags: bling date, boyfriend, fresh start, LOVE, matchmaker, pirate, plan b, sage
Life took me by surprise today.
I was having a lazy, uninteresting, uninspired afternoon. Vegetarian Shepherd’s Pie was as exciting as things got around here. Until I got a call from a wonderful friend of my mams – an aspiring matchmaker. She’s been trying to introduce me to someone for months, and was delighted to hear The Pirate and I are no longer an item.
We agreed that Someone could call me, and that I’d keep myself free until I meet him! He got in touch earlier on, and he’s fantastic. We haven’t met, and won’t until next week, but I like him. It’s hard to make a good first impression when there’s so much pressure, and he did brilliantly.
I also heard from Plan B this afternoon. Plan B and I met randomly a long time ago, but I’m convinced we knew each other in a past life, or something… we connected so well when we met that I didn’t even ask him what he did for months. We’ve never had the need for small talk. I christened him Plan B straight away, and the name has stuck within my circle of friends. The Pirate was Plan A at the time.
If you’re wondering where The Sage comes into all of this, I’m not sure that he does. He was really keen to meet up last weekend, but changed his mind at the last minute. That’s fine with me, but he managed to turn it into some kind of drama… he didn’t explain himself at all, then said ‘I’m just fucked up’ and hung up. Hmm. It was his idea to meet up, and neither of us really had the time for it - I wouldn’t have suggested it in the first place. I’m fine with us not seeing each other until it happens of its own accord, which it eventually will. He’s called a few times since, and I enjoy our conversations, but that’s as far as it’s going for now.
I’ve promised to save myself for this mysterious Someone, which is exciting in itself – and also saves me the effort of thinking about anyone else for a while.
Filed under: LOVE, Relationships, Single life | Tags: brother-in-law, distance, memory, sage
The start of any great adventure is infinitely more exciting than the middle.
The Sage and I are at a wonderful stage of our adventure. We haven’t seen each other for almost a fortnight. Two weeks of beautiful memories – moments so clear in my mind that I close my eyes to relive them. Two weeks of thrills anytime I get a message from him, and disappointment when a message turns out to be from someone else.
I’m relishing every moment of this. My witty brother-in-law thinks The Sage would be perfect for me, simply because we’d rarely see one another. I laughed as he said it, and agreed straight away. Distance can be a beautiful thing, as it demands that you lead a life of your own.
And it’s a good life.
